James Allen HanrahanJames Allen Hanrahan

By James Hanrahan

What Guys Are REALLY Looking For In A Relationship

When you first meet a guy you like, you have questions. You want to know if he’s serious about having a relationship? Does he want to have children? What his long-term plans are?

While these are important questions they are not the first questions on the man’s mind.

Before he’s ready to answer your questions. There are three questions he’s asking himself; you’re not even aware of.

Here are the three things a guy is looking for in a relationship.

1. Banter. For a man, a relationship begins with the ability to talk in a playful, non-logical way.

It’s often a running joke that gets you started speaking to each other in the first place.

Banter is a creative way to discover you. Men love a mysterious woman who slowly unfolds. He wants to court you.

2. Fun. Simply put, it has to be fun to be with you. You may think this is overly simplistic when looking for a relationship.

For man to take on the responsibility of marriage and children. He has to know it’s fun to be with you along the way.

Men are practical romantics. Banter and fun lead them into a serious relationship, with this last final thing.

3. A better man. Men marry virtue. They marry a woman who makes them a better man.

This happens when you allow a man to court you and win you over.

When he finds himself doing things he wouldn’t ordinarily do for the sake of the team. You have awakened his desire to be a better man.

Men fall in love when they give. Courtship is when a man discovers he’s in love with you.

A guy is looking for a playful, non-logical banter that creates a new world for the two of you.

When you’re having fun, you can get you through anything. Laughter is a good sign it’s fun to be with you.

When a man finds himself inspired to be a better man, because you let him court you. All your relationship questions will be answered with a resounding… “yes, I do.”

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s secrets in A Life of Love.

By James Hanrahan

How To Build ATTRACTION That Lasts Forever

When you meet a guy, either you have chemistry or you don’t.

No matter how good a guy is on paper, if your body doesn’t like him, you’ve got no chance.

However, attraction is something you can build. There are three keys to creating attraction you want to know, if you want a relationship that lasts.

1. Anticipation. Building attraction requires anticipation. This means if you want to have a long-term relationship you need to start thinking long-term.

The way to do this is to remember that anticipation outranks consummation.

In other words, the longer you wait before you have sex, the more attraction you’ll build.

Sex doesn’t build attraction, anticipation does.

2. Have a fight. I’m not saying go out of your way to have a fight. I’m saying you don’t really know someone until you do.

Attraction is increased when you’re able to stay with people, even on the days when you don’t like them.

Having a fight is not what builds attraction. It’s the ability to get through it, that makes your attraction stronger.

3. Make a commitment. When you’re sitting on the fence, not much happens in any aspect of your life. When you commit to another human being you awaken attraction you might not even know you had.

Attraction is built when you can count on someone to do what they say they’re going to do.

A relationship is a conversation that doesn’t end, and a series of kept agreements. This is the practical definition of lasting love.

If you want to build attraction that lasts you’ll need anticipation. Fighting is not the end of a relationship, it’s a sign you’re beginning to care.

A commitment takes your chemistry to another level. A level where you can build your attraction into a love that lasts forever.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of  information in Dating Advice for Alpha Women.

By James Hanrahan

The REAL Truth About Why You Get Mixed Messages From Men

Men who don’t know what they want constantly send out mixed messages.

They like you, but not enough to really be with you. In other words they’re wasting your time.

The most common and most crazy making example is when a man agrees to do something and then doesn’t do it. It’s called being passive aggressive.

It isn’t uncommon for all of us to at one time or another to not be clear about what we want.

However it’s rarely a good sign when you’re with a man, it usually means a train wreck is about to come.

When you get in to a position of trying to figure out the mixed message of a man you’re in danger of hurting yourself. 

Usually figuring men out means you have a narcissist on your hands.These men are interesting because they know what they want they just don’t care what you want.

Some of the best decisions you’ll ever make in relationships are the one you walk away from.

These are hard decisions because your heart is pulling on you. However,the body doesn’t lie. 

Mixed messages are clear signals coming from your body that you’re overlooking things that don’t feel good.

Real relationships with real men are not mysteries or dramas. They’re between two people who can make and keep agreements.

The best way to clear up mixed messages is to ask. Ask the questions you think you shouldn’t ask and the ones close to your heart.

Intimacy builds from the tough moments not the easy ones. Remember that men who can make and keep agreements and are willing to negotiate with you will last. Those who don’t won’t.

Before you waste anymore time on men with mixed messages. Start by asking for what you want and saying no to what you don’t want.

A man who loves you will want to know.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s secrets in Dating Advice for Alpha Women.

By James Hanrahan

Does Your Father Hold The Keys To Your Dating Life

Is he just like your father?

If you want to understand your dating life there’s only one question you need to ask yourself. What was your dad like?

Did he care about how you feel or did he ask you what you think? If he walked in the door would he ask you how did you feel today or how did you do today?

After you’ve answered these questions look at your life. Ask yourself, am I a career woman focusing on doing good in the world, have I lost touch with my feelings?

Then look at the men you’re dating, do they care about how you feel? Are you making all the plans in the relationship, or are they?

If your dad raised you to do good to feel good. You will attract men who want to feel good. These are attractive and non-committal guys that catch your eyes. There called Peter Pans.

To find out more about this, you can read A Life Of Love.

Peter Pans are charming, funny and great in bed. There just not much on working and having a steady job. They’ve got big plans and great ideas they’re just not much on doing the footwork.

They do get you out of your head and make you feel sensual for a few moments. However at the same time they keep you in your head because you’re the one who needs to make plans. You’re the one that needs to get things done.

If the men you’re dating remind you of your father, a man who wasn’t there for you and or didn’t care how you feel. You may be re-creating the same pattern with the men you’re dating.

The first step to change this pattern is awareness. The second is acceptance. And the third is to take contrary action.

Talk to men who care about how you feel. Men who make plans and want to build something with you. These will be men who sound good to your ears not just look good to your eyes.

Take a breath, let your hair down. Put your feet in the sand. Feel good to do good and let your body lead the way.
The body doesn’t lie. When you’re dating ask yourself one simple question. Does being with this guy feel good or not feel good?

James Allen Hanrahan is a dating relationship coach in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love.

What Guys Are REALLY Looking For In A Relationship
How To Build ATTRACTION That Lasts Forever
The REAL Truth About Why You Get Mixed Messages From Men
Does Your Father Hold The Keys To Your Dating Life