James Allen HanrahanJames Allen Hanrahan

By James Hanrahan

The 3 Secrets Why Men Don’t Commit [According to A Guy]

If you’ve been with a guy for a while and you see no signs of commitment. There are three BIG reasons why a man doesn’t commit.

Fortunately for you, they’re all things you can do something about.

Because while he may have many excuses why he can’t commit right now, the solution boils down to these three secrets.

1. There’s no risk of losing you.

When you live with a guy, or spend all your time at his place, you’re basically a free wife.

The first reason he won’t commit to you is, there’s no risk of losing you.

The main reason a man takes on the responsibility of marrying you is, he doesn’t want to lose you.

It’s as simple as, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. [I’ll share with you how to change this in a minute.]

Which brings us to the second reason why he won’t commit.

2. He’s too comfortable.

When he’s already getting all the sex and companionship he wants from you, without taking on any responsibility. The next problem you have is, he’s too comfortable.

He may blame his job, or his financial situation, or any other number of excuses. However if a man really wants something he will move heaven and earth to get it.

However, if he’s already getting you for free, the real problem is he’s too comfortable.

3 Take things off the table.

The good news is, you have a solution. It’s time to take things off the table.

There’s only one way for a guy to find out he can’t live without you. There has to be the risk of losing you.

If you’re ready to take things off the table the first thing and the biggest thing to take off the table is sex.

To do this say, “I’ve really enjoyed our year plus of being together however I don’t feel comfortable continuing to have sex without an engagement ring and/or an agreement for a wedding date within the next six months to a year.” Pause. Followed by “what do you think?”

I know it’s a mouthful. However if there’s no risk of losing you and he’s too comfortable; if you don’t take things off the table, chances are nothing is going to change. [ to get coaching click here.]

You’re going to meet resistance, he may even pull away or decide to break up with you. Whatever it is, be patient, hold your ground, don’t argue with him and let him figure it out.

In the end this is not about him. It’s about your own self-worth and self-value. The reason why men don’t commit is because they don’t feel they have to. The reason they do commit is because you require it, and you’re worth it.

If he’s up for the challenge he’s your man, if not, he’s someone else’s boy.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s secrets to fall in love in Dating Advice for Alpha Women.

By James Hanrahan

How To Know When A Relationship Is REALLY Over

When you still have feelings for a guy it’s hard to tell when a relationship is really over.

It’s normal to have mixed feelings and for there to be a back-and-forth period.

However when a relationship is finally over you will have the feelings I’m about to describe to you.

But first let’s look at the feelings that show the relationship isn’t over.

1. You’re mad.

Unfortunately, when you’re mad you’re not done with the relationship. Anger means you still care and you still have hope that by fighting you can solve the problem.

This may or may not be true and fighting is not the end of a relationship. In fact, as I said, it’s a sign you’re not done yet.

2. You’re sad.

Feeling sad or hurt are strong emotions but, much like anger they still show you care and you have hope you can repair the relationship.

These feelings are valuable and it’s important to stay until the end of a relationship. Because if you don’t stay to the end of the relationship and get the lesson, you’ll repeat the lesson with someone else.

If you’re still mad or sad do everything you can to work things out or, until you reach the next two feelings that let you know when a relationship is over.

3. Apathy and Empathy.

Apathy and empathy are the signals to you that a relationship is over. Apathy means that you’re no longer mad or sad. You care about the person but you know longer have those charged feelings.

Empathy means you still care about the person, but you know longer feel drawn to try to work it out with them, because you’ve gotten the lesson.

How do you know when you’ve gotten the lesson? When you no longer want to repeat the lesson. You’re grateful for having had the person in your life, but you’re ready to move on, because you’ve changed.

If you’re still mad or sad, stay until you get the lesson, or you work things out. Apathy and empathy are the feelings you have when a relationship is over. They are the signs you’ve grown from the relationship and you’re ready to move on.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s secrets to fall in love in A Life of Love.

The 3 Secrets Why Men Don’t Commit [According to A Guy]
How To Know When A Relationship Is REALLY Over