James Allen HanrahanJames Allen Hanrahan

by James Hanrahan

Just about every relationship starts with an element of fantasy. In some ways, it has to, to get off the ground.

Imagination makes things possible but, it can also break your heart. We know relationships are often dangerous territory, but it’s rarely enough to stop us.

With that in mind, here are 3 keys to help you avoid heartaches and find a relationship that will last forever. The first of course starts with what attracts many of us in the first place…

1. Fantasy

When you first meet a guy you have chemistry with your head can really start spinning. You can begin to imagine a future together. The chemistry can be so strong you can almost think of nothing else.

This is normal and it’s easy to get carried away. To avoid heartache it’s important to not get too lost in fantasy, and make sure you’re taking the time to get to know a man for who he truly is.

Most men start out fast, but you’re going to need to take your time and be realistic if you’re going to make it to the finish line.

Relying on fantasy and chemistry can only take you so far, (usually 3 months) if you’re really going to make it you’re going to need this…

2. Friendship 

With all the buildup that comes from having chemistry, we can often miss whether we actually like the person we’re with.

This is where friendship comes in, it allows you to find your feet. If the two of you can spend time together doing a variety of things besides having sex, you can begin to establish whether or not you also have a friendship.

I call it filling in the other 23 hours. This means you are comfortable being together morning, noon and night. In other words, you are capable of enjoying and spending your days together, and it’s not just a series of intermittent nights.

3. Family 

Relationships that last are with people we consider to be family. They could be longtime friends or actually family members. The introduction of a partner to our family and friends and the introduction to theirs gives a relationship lasting power.

In isolation, the two of you can fall into a hook-up. With family, you can become part of a team. Family and friends give us a sense of openness and discovery. We are connected by sharing each other with the people who are dearest to us. It also gives us accountability.

Most relationships that last forever are built on a common goal. When we can see ourselves, either starting a family or becoming part of a family, the connection helps us to get through the hard times.

Fantasy can get you started but it takes more than that to get you to the finish line. Let chemistry get you going, but let your friendship keep it going.

Friendship is your foundation, with it, you can build anything. Lovers who have the built-in attraction of friendship are capable of long-lasting relationships.

Our family and our friends are our longest-lasting relationships. When we make them a part of our lives together as a couple, we’re doing something that has a strong foundation; something that’s built to last.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after relationship coach for strong women based in Los Angeles who offers a free Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, and tired of dating the wrong guys, connect with him via his calendar link to make finding time easy.

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3 Keys To Avoid Heartbreak And Make A Relationship Last Forever