James Allen HanrahanJames Allen Hanrahan
18
Dec, 2020

By James Hanrahan

The Real Reason Why Men Aren’t Falling In Love Anymore

When is the last time you received a love letter from a guy? The problem is many men are not falling in love anymore.

Will, they hit you up? Absolutely. Will they stay with you? Well, that’s becoming a problem.

With that in mind, here is the real reason why men aren’t falling in love and what to do about it. This knowledge will be a game-changer for your love life.

 1. Sex

Contrary to what some may believe, men do not usually fall in love when they have sex. It does not by itself create intimacy, rather it exposes whether you have it or not.

Sex revolves around initial chemistry which can go as fast as a comes. The illusion of closeness that sex can give you can mask the fact that on a deeper level you really don’t know each other.

Friendship is often best built before sex enters a relationship. In order for a man to fall in love with you, it’s helpful for him to get to know you as a human being first.

2. Time

Time gives you the opportunity to evaluate and gain insight into the man you’re dating. The journey of falling in love takes time.

Relationships are an investment of time and energy. When a man invests the time to get to know you as a human being he begins to demonstrate his character.

Men are often way ahead of themselves. They will ask you to go on trips, to have sex, and to become their girlfriend way before they’re ready.

Slowing a man down is one of the best ways to give him the opportunity to fall in love with you. Encourage his enthusiasm, but slow down his speed.

3. Friendship 

We are often lead to believe that friendship and love are two entirely different things. But are they? Can a man truly love you if he has not befriended you?

Friendship demonstrates the character of the man you’re with. Does he make and keep his agreements? Does he demonstrate integrity in all aspects of his life? Does he treat you with concern, and care about your feelings?

When we underestimate the importance of falling in love with someone who demonstrates friendship we’re often shocked when they leave abruptly.

It’s usually not a lack of chemistry that ends a poorly conceived relationship, it’s a lack of friendship. Character is the lasting quality to look for, it’s demonstrated in a friendship and in a lover.

Sex in itself will not give you intimacy. In fact, people often avoid intimacy by having sex.

Time is what gives a man a runway to fall in love with you. When you understand this, it will change the trajectory of your love life.

Friendship is one of the biggest clues you’re falling in love with the right person. If you’re continually doubting the character and trustworthiness of a man you’re with, you’re usually with the wrong man.

Men fall in love when you require them to take the time to get to know you and building a friendship with you. Friendship is foundational to your well-being and it’s the real reason that without it, men are not falling in love anymore.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after relationship coach for strong women based in Los Angeles who offers a free Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, and tired of dating the wrong guys, connect with him via his calendar link to make finding time easy.

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11
Dec, 2020

By James Hanrahan

3 Things Men Want In A Lasting Relationship

When you first meet a guy, it’s hard to tell what a man wants. The sex aspect becomes apparent almost immediately, but the question becomes how is this going to turn into a lasting relationship?

Most men are not eager to jump into a committed relationship. It’s going to take some finesse. In fact, the only true way to make a man enter into a long-term relationship is to make it his idea.

With that in mind, here are three ways to catch him off guard, and put his mind at ease. Once you lower his defenses the rest will come naturally.

1. Banter

You may believe that a list of relationship questions will help you find the right man. While this may be true, this is not how most men approach relationships.

Banter is what makes a man want to spend more time with you. It catches him thinking about you and wanted to tell you more.

It’s the thread that connects your days together and it allows him to feel comfortable with you. Banter puts a man at ease with you and lets him know he can be himself.

2. Laughter

You may believe that having a serious conversation with a guy will get him to commit. While there’s a time and place for everything, leading with a serious conversation, is often a red flag for men.

Laughter is a sign you have a good feel for each other. It makes the hard days easier and the good days even better. A man wants a woman who laughs easily and forgives when necessary.

When he can count on you to see the humor in things he will become far less defensive. Laughter is what makes him see you as a true companion. Happy women are a relationship magnet to men. It keeps him coming back for more.

3. Connection

Men often talk about this fabled-word called “connection.” Probably because even though they want it, they can’t define it.

Day-to-day life and long-term relationships begin and end with connection. At our core, there are two things we desperately want, to be heard, and to be known.

Connection to a man means you get what he’s about, you understand his purpose and his passions.
A man makes you part of his life almost seamlessly. He connects you to the people and places that are important to him.

The banter gets you in the game. It makes a man feel at ease with you and makes him want more.
Laughter is a seal that’s even stronger than a kiss. It will keep you together through the hard times.

When you hear your man and take an interest in his passions and concerns, he will feel the connection, and he will want to build with you.

Relationships are a team game, and when you speak with his interests and concerns in mind, with laughter and banter along the way, he begins to feel the connection. This is what men want in a lasting relationship with you.

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07
Jan, 2019

By James Hanrahan

3 Things Men Want More Than Sex

You might think men want nothing more than sex. While, it is certainly often in their minds, there are three things that are more valuable to men than sex.

In order for a man to fall in love with you, he will unknowingly even to him be looking for these 3 things.

With that in mind, here are the 3 things men want more than sex. I hope these will inspire you to understand the men you date and what men really want when they fall in love with you.

1. Acceptance.

Men want acceptance for who they are right now. Not, who they are going to be in 5 or 10 years but for who they are in this moment.

We all want acceptance but, for men, it is the cornerstone of any long-term relationship.

A man knows that if you do not like his job, his friends, the way he spends his free time, etc. that in the long run, he will have no chance with you.

There’s a long-standing joke that when a man sees his woman as she’s walking down the aisle, he says she looks amazing I hope she never changes.

When a woman sees her man walking down the aisle, she says to herself, I can change him.

There’s a lot of truth in this joke. Men don’t change. If you can accept that, you’re on your way to really have a great man for the rest of your life. Because you already truly like him the way he is.

2. Appreciation.

Most good men follow a very simple equation. When you appreciate what they already do, they will do more.

Men fall in love when they give. They are literally looking for ways to give to you. However, if they get the impression that you don’t appreciate it, or they can’t make you happy, they will give up.

Appreciating what he already does may be very hard for you to do. Because, frankly, some men don’t do much. However, if you can simply start by appreciating the little things they already do, I assure you they will do more, and thank you for it!

3. Admiration.

Now, you may be saying, you’ve gone too far, admiration? Yes, admiration.

Admiration, in this context simply means you admire some aspect of him. Perhaps, it’s his sense of humor, or his work ethic, or the way he treats his family and friends. The key here is to find some aspect that you do admire about him and tell him.

Admiration for a man goes hand-in-hand with respect. Men know that a woman most often can only fall in love with a man she respects.

If you’re with a man that for any reason you don’t respect, please let him go. You only be hurting yourself and him in the long run.

However if you do respect him, the greatest gift you can give a man is to tell him, I respect you.
Respect, inspires a man to be a better man.

You have all the cards to be with the man you want.
The 3 keys to remember are acceptance, appreciation, and admiration.

When you accept a man the way he is right now. You are building a strong foundation for a long-term relationship.

When you appreciate what he’s already doing. when he gets the sense that he can make you happy. He will feel that he can win with you and it will inspire him to no end.

When you admire and respect a man, you give him the confidence to be his best self. Men choose a woman for the long-term by the way he feels when he’s with you.

It’s a simple equation to understanding what good men want. Acceptance, appreciation, and admiration. When you give them to a man, he will fall deeply in love with you.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, I’d love to connect. Here’s my calendar link to make finding time easy.

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17
Aug, 2017

By James Hanrahan

3 Ways How Men Bond With Women For the Long Run

Here are the ingredients of a man in it for the long-run.

When you meet a guy who’s attracted to you, it’s great. But, as you know from experience this is not enough.

After you’ve seen a few guys come and go it becomes important to know how men bond with women.

With that in mind, here are 3 ways a guy will bond with you if you have them in this order.

1. He starts out slow.

A guy who can be in a relationship for the long run starts out slow. I call it starting at level 5. He takes his time getting to know you because he knows it takes more than just chemistry to be in a relationship.

Guys who start at level 10 are all about chemistry. They start out strong and want to be with you all the time. The challenge is they can’t keep up the pace and quickly lose interest because they’re not building anything with you.

A guy who starts at level 5 has room to grow and bond with you. It takes time and shared experiences to bond with a guy. A guy who can be with you for the long run starts out slow. He wants to know you.

2. He builds momentum.

Men bond as they build momentum with you. It shows as he starts to see you more and make you a part of his life.

It’s not enough that he starts slow there has to be a feeling that he is building momentum with you.

If you find yourself getting into a pattern of just seeing him once a week for a date over a long period of time, then he doesn’t have momentum with you.

A guy with momentum starts making plans ahead and ask you how you feel about them. He’s not just living week to week with you.

A good question to ask yourself is “do you feel you have momentum with him?”

3. He has an eye for the finish line.

The final piece of the puzzle is men bond when they commit to you.

This happens when he asks you to stop dating other people and be exclusive with him.

When he starts talking about and making long-range plans with you.

When he’s introducing you to family and friends and you’re becoming a part of his life. And finally of course when he asks you to marry him.

You will notice that he wants to take more and more responsibility for you. This means he includes you in his decisions in life and asks you how you feel about them. In other words, he wants to build a life with you.

Men bond when they start out slow and get to know you as a human being. Time and shared experiences are the way a man opens his heart.

Momentum is key for a man. A man who’s building with you is bonding with you.

A man who can see the finish line and shares his vision with you is a man you can be with for the long run.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s secrets to fall in love in A Life of Love.

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20
May, 2017

By James Hanrahan

3 UNMISTAKABLE Signs a Man’s in Love With You

When you want to know if a man is in love with you, it doesn’t matter what he says. It matters what he does.

For men love is a verb and when he’s in love with you, he takes action.

With that in mind, here are three actions that are clear signs he’s in love with you.

1. Momentum.

Men are all about momentum. From the moment he meets you and gets your number, if he calls you right away and makes an effort to see you, he’s on his way to being in love with you.

If he can wait a few weeks to see you, or sees you once and then waits for another month, he doesn’t have momentum and he’s wasting your time.

The first thing to look for is, does he have momentum.

2. Escalation.

Lots of guys start out fast. They want to see you all the time and then suddenly vanish.

A guy who’s falling in love with you, wants to build something with you.

This means he wants to do a variety of things with you. He wants you to meet his friends, his family etc. you feel he’s including you in his life.

Escalation means he’s not just dating and having sex with you. He’s building a life with you and adding complexity to what you do together.

3. Responsibility.

When a man falls in love with you he suddenly wants to give up his freedom that he values so highly, and be responsible for you.

This simply means he takes your feelings into account and there are no sudden disappearing acts. He makes and keeps agreements with you without hesitation.

When a man falls in love with you being in a relationship is his idea. He asks you to be exclusive because he doesn’t want to lose you. He has momentum and he’s goal oriented. The goal is to be with you.

He invites you into his life and you feel the relationship is escalating. You sense, he cares about how you feel and he welcomes the responsibility to make long-range plans with you. These are the signs, and this is how to tell a man’s in love with you.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of  men’s secrets to fall in love in Dating Advice for Alpha Women.

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09
Jan, 2017

By James Hanrahan

3 Secrets Men WANT In Women They Love

Here’s how to make sure he wants you.

There’s an old saying everyone wants to buy, no one wants to be sold. This is especially true of men. When a guy meets you, he wants to buy you.

He wants to think he has discovered something so special that he has to have it. There also needs to be an element of risk, meaning he’s not sure if he can get it.

With that in mind here are the 3 secrets that make men want you.

1. Never ask where is this relationship going. When you ask him where the relationship is going he knows he owns you.

Suddenly he feels you’re trying to sell him something. This is not a good position for you. If you find yourself wondering where a relationship is going, chances are it’s going nowhere.

But, “James I really want to know where the relationship is going.” If you want to know where it’s going, tell him what you require to be in a relationship generally, not with him specifically and see if he’s willing to negotiate with you from there.

2. Know your worth. Men will pay any price to have you, and when it comes to love they’re not looking for a bargain. The world will only pay you what you think you’re worth. A woman who places a high value on herself gets paid in return.

If you second-guess yourself, you will sell yourself short. Men will test you. They will test your patience to see if they can get a cheap deal and get you to take over the responsibility for the relationship. Remember to resist the urge to sell him anything.

3. Know when to say no. Men respect a woman with standards and boundaries. When you say no to a man when it’s appropriate, it lets him know that you’re not a pushover. If he wants to be with you he will have to earn it.

Saying no means I’m willing to lose you, however I’m not willing to lose myself.

Self-love is very attractive to a man, it means he can count on you. It lets him know you’re a real person and won’t be taken lightly.

Remember never ask a man where a relationship is going, when you do a man thinks he owns you. A man buys you when you know your self-worth, and know when to say no. This is what men want in the women they love.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for SMART women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of information in Dating Advice for Alpha Women.

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The Real Reason Why Men Aren’t Falling In Love Anymore
3 Things Men Want In A Lasting Relationship
3 Things Men Want More Than Sex
3 Ways How Men Bond With Women For the Long Run
3 UNMISTAKABLE Signs a Man’s in Love With You
3 Secrets Men WANT In Women They Love