James Allen HanrahanJames Allen Hanrahan

By James Hanrahan

3Things Your Guy Is DYING To Hear (But Might Not Know How To Ask For)

We all know that men don’t like to talk much. There may be words he is dying to hear from you but he won’t mention it. However, when he hears them they are magical.

We all want to hear kinds words And know that the people we love care about us. As a woman, you will want to know what men like to hear. It will create a special bond for your relationship.

With this in mind, Here are 3 words every man likes to hear. These words have an inspirational effect on a man. They inspire him to be a better man and want to have a relationship with you.

1. I respect you.

Perhaps no other word is more important to a man than the word respect. When you tell a man you respect him you are letting him know that you accept him as he is.

By letting him know that you respect the way he treats his family and friends. That his career and productivity in the world are things you admire, he will feel respected.
When you tell a man you respect him you inspire him to see you as an important part of his life. When you respect him, he will want to build with you. Make no mistake about it, respect is definitely a word he’s dying to hear.

2. I appreciate you.

If there’s a close second in the word categories appreciate is a strong contender. When you tell a man that you appreciate him you have struck a chord in his soul.

As simple as this may sound a man derives a large portion of his self-worth by knowing that he can make you happy. Telling a man that you appreciate him is confirmation that what he’s doing is having an affect.

You might say that appreciation to a man is what affection is to a woman. It is a way in which he feels loved. Once you trigger a man that he is appreciated he will want to spend more time with you.

3. I accept you.

In a man’s world acceptance is the key word in his life. He wants to know you accept him the way he is now. It might not be something you outright say it is more something you do.

Acceptance is expressed when you to resist the urge to change him or criticize him. Men are well aware of their faults and when they find that it’s easy to be with you and that you’re willing to work with them. A man will feel accepted.

We all want to know that it’s okay to make mistakes and not be perfect. This is the gift of acceptance you can give to a man.
The keywords a man likes to hear are, I respect you, I appreciate you, and I accept you.
Tell the man you’re with I respect what you think and what you do. Ask him questions and for his advice. The most powerful phrase you can say to a man is “What do you think?”
I appreciate you will inspire him to no end. Once he gets a taste for making you happy he’ll be hooked. Men never get tired of hearing how much you appreciated something he did.
We all want to be accepted. This is something a man will feel from you. It is a byproduct of feeling respected and appreciated. But, make no mistake about it a man wants to be accepted because acceptance for anyone is the foundation of lasting love.
James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after relationship coach for strong women based in Los Angeles who offers a free Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, and tired of dating the wrong guys, connect with him via his complimentary call calendar link to make finding time easy.

By James Hanrahan

Why Guys Lose Interest In You So Quickly

If you’ve ever had a guy suddenly lose interest in you after you thought you had something going, you know how painful it can be. There’s nothing like getting the rug pulled out from underneath you.
Is it something you said or something you did? There are so many unanswered questions, and he’s long gone before you can get to the bottom of it.

With this in mind, here are 3 critical reasons why guys suddenly lose interested in you, you’re going to want to know. These will give you the skills to have successful relationships in the future.

1. You had sex too soon.
Frankly, if I’m honest this could realistically be reasons number one, two, and three.
I often patiently walk my coaching clients through this painful step-by-step process until they finally get it. Like, I’m going to do with you now.
Hooking-up and having sex with a guy too soon distracts him from getting to know you as a human being.
The number one reason why guys disappear is they perceived you as a sex object and never really got to know you as a person.
This is an easy fix. When a guy is aiming towards a hook up with you or to have sex with you too soon. Simply state the following; “I’m really attracted to you. You’re funny, charming and sexy. However, I don’t feel comfortable having sex (I’m enjoying making out with you) until I get to know you better.” “What do you think?”
Will this lower your hook-up rates? Absolutely! Will some guys argue with you and complain? Absolutely!
Will a guy who is really into you and wants to get to know you, say “he understands and is willing to get to know you better?” Yes, and that’s what we’re looking for.
You want a guy who cares about how you feel and wants to make sure you’re comfortable. He’s not in a hurry, because he’s comfortable with himself. He enjoys the challenge of winning you over. This is how we separate the mature men who want a relationship from the boys.
2. You suddenly want commitments.
To be fair, this only happens when my clients haven’t followed step one. They get upset when they have sex with a guy too soon and then the guy suddenly becomes less attentive or loses interest. They want to know what’s going on, so they ask him.
The guy for his part thinks you’re cool with hooking- up because frankly, you did. He assumes no responsibility for your feelings because it wasn’t required to sleep with you, and he’s startled when you’re upset.
Then when you ask him about commitments and whether or not he’s really into you? You get a lot of backpedaling and wishy-washy answers until you don’t see him again.
This again is a simple fix. Please use step one, and then you won’t be calling me for advice on what to do in the morning. But, if you have to, no worries, I’m there for you. It won’t be the first time I’ve talked someone of the ledge.
3. You’re not compatible.
Sometimes you’re lives just doesn’t fit together. Men are often the first to recognize this. They realize you want to be married and have children. Or, his career is going to move him out of the state or country. He just doesn’t see a future with you.
And, sometimes since he didn’t take the time to get to know you he loses interest because he’s just not that into you. This usually happens when he wasn’t invested. He hadn’t spent the time to get to know you.
There’s nothing to do about this one. It is what it is. You’re looking for the right guy, and to do that you have to get comfortable losing the wrong ones.
Please, remember rule number one. It’s really rule number two and number three. Don’t have sex too soon. Courtship is a test of time. It will greatly reduce your return and starting overrates. 
Get a guy who wants to pass this test of time and he will be much more ready to be in a relationship with you.
The time to find out if he wants a relationship is before you have sex. Asking for commitments is a much harder sell afterward. As I said, it all comes down to rule one. Require him to get to know you first.
As you get to know a guy, sometimes he will suddenly lose interest because he doesn’t see the point in having a conversation about things that you are not compatible on.  He doesn’t want what you want, and he knows it.
For your part, it’s a good rule to only fight with people you’re going to build with. Resist the urge to argue with him, and if he doesn’t have the skills to communicate and negotiate with you, let him go.
Men are often like children, they want what they want until they get it. They lose interest in toys, and they fall in love with women who require them to get to know them. Be this type of woman. He’ll love you for it.
James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after relationship coach for strong women based in Los Angeles who offers a free Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, and tired of dating the wrong guys connect with him via his calendar link to make finding time easy.

By James Hanrahan

3 Agreements To Make Before You Have Sex

I’ve got new rules, I count them.
When you meet a guy you have chemistry with it’s magical. Finally, after dating guys, you don’t like you meet someone you do.
You don’t want to talk about it because it feels so good. However, you’ve been down this road a few times and you know that having a hot night doesn’t require a conversation, your body will take care of that, but having a relationship does.
With that in mind here are three agreements to make before you decide when to have sex if you’re interested in a long-term relationship.

1. Exclusivity 

For a one-night stand exclusivity doesn’t need to be worked out it’s a one night stand. If you want a long-term relationship the first agreement you want to consider making is do you want to be exclusive? And what does that look like?
There are two parts to this question. One is, do you want to be sexually exclusive, meaning you only have sex with each other. And second, do you want to be socially exclusive meaning you portray yourself as someone in a relationship not as someone who is still single on dating apps etc.
You may think this is obvious however if you’ve ever slept with a guy and then went online and saw him still on an app you know what I’m talking about.
2. Continuity.
Continuity is about how often you’re going to see each other. If you’re having a one night stand than agreeing that you just want to see each other for one night is continuity.
If you’re looking for something more than agreeing to see each other regularly will give you a foundation to do that.

Continuity usually plays out over time, however, seeing if someone wants to have it with you is important.

Relationships are built over time and shared experiences. Continuity is the key for that to happen.
3. Longevity.
If there’s one agreement that’s missing when a new coaching client calls me it’s longevity.
Their exclusive, they see each other regularly but they have no idea what each other’s long-term plan is.
This is especially dangerous with men. Men live by a simple code when it comes to sex; the less said the better. Unfortunately, this code is not in your best interest or his if you want long-term relationship.
Longevity simply means you’re establishing if you want to build something together and what your long-term relationship goals are. I.e. are you aiming towards marriage and children or just having a lifetime partner? Or are you at a point in life where you’re exploring meeting different people? The point is to find out and agree that you’re both on the same page.
Now for the important questions. When do you have this conversation? And when do you make these agreements?
There are two steps to this answer. Obviously, if you’re following along you want to have it before you have sex however, there is one step that comes before it. That step is you want to get to know him better.
For example; he asks you for sex, let’s be real he doesn’t ask you, he just makes a move on you and hopes it works out. At which point you say “I really like you and I’m attracted to you. You’re funny, smart and sexy etc, however, I don’t feel comfortable having intercourse until I get to know you better. What do you think?”
If he agrees to get to know you better it gives you time to establish a courtship where you can find out if you like him based on his actions. Does he want to see you regularly? Does he ask you to be his girlfriend and be exclusive? In your conversations does he start to make long-term plans with you and invite you to meet his family and friends?
If over time you feel comfortable and you’re ready to have intercourse with him. The next time he makes a move on you which he will. Say “I really appreciate you taking the time to get to know me. I feel really comfortable with you, you’re smart, sexy and funny etc. However, before we have sex I want to ask you. Do you want to be monogamous with me sexually and socially? Do you want to see me regularly? Do you see me as someone you want to have a long-term relationship with aiming towards the possibility of marriage and children? Or as a life partner?”
You may be worried about killing the moment and spontaneity. To which I say to you people who know how to love have the ability to make and keep agreements. A relationship is a series of kept agreements. Once you establish these three agreements you’re on the way to building a life together with all the spontaneity and moments you could ever ask for. Consider it.
The 3 agreements are; exclusivity, continuity, and longevity. Ask for them and watch your relationship come to life in a way that will surprise you. There’s magic in what you ask for. It’s how a man falls in love with you.
James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s secrets to fall in love in A Life of Love.
 

By James Hanrahan

3 Ways How Men Bond With Women For the Long Run

Here are the ingredients of a man in it for the long-run.

When you meet a guy who’s attracted to you, it’s great. But, as you know from experience this is not enough.

After you’ve seen a few guys come and go it becomes important to know how men bond with women.

With that in mind, here are 3 ways a guy will bond with you if you have them in this order.

1. He starts out slow.

A guy who can be in a relationship for the long run starts out slow. I call it starting at level 5. He takes his time getting to know you because he knows it takes more than just chemistry to be in a relationship.

Guys who start at level 10 are all about chemistry. They start out strong and want to be with you all the time. The challenge is they can’t keep up the pace and quickly lose interest because they’re not building anything with you.

A guy who starts at level 5 has room to grow and bond with you. It takes time and shared experiences to bond with a guy. A guy who can be with you for the long run starts out slow. He wants to know you.

2. He builds momentum.

Men bond as they build momentum with you. It shows as he starts to see you more and make you a part of his life.

It’s not enough that he starts slow there has to be a feeling that he is building momentum with you.

If you find yourself getting into a pattern of just seeing him once a week for a date over a long period of time, then he doesn’t have momentum with you.

A guy with momentum starts making plans ahead and ask you how you feel about them. He’s not just living week to week with you.

A good question to ask yourself is “do you feel you have momentum with him?”

3. He has an eye for the finish line.

The final piece of the puzzle is men bond when they commit to you.

This happens when he asks you to stop dating other people and be exclusive with him.

When he starts talking about and making long-range plans with you.

When he’s introducing you to family and friends and you’re becoming a part of his life. And finally of course when he asks you to marry him.

You will notice that he wants to take more and more responsibility for you. This means he includes you in his decisions in life and asks you how you feel about them. In other words, he wants to build a life with you.

Men bond when they start out slow and get to know you as a human being. Time and shared experiences are the way a man opens his heart.

Momentum is key for a man. A man who’s building with you is bonding with you.

A man who can see the finish line and shares his vision with you is a man you can be with for the long run.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s secrets to fall in love in A Life of Love.

By James Hanrahan

3 Ways To Keep Him Interested In A Relationship With You

When you meet a guy you like it can seems like a miracle.

When he starts out treating you like a queen, it’s exciting.

The hard part is when he starts slowing down, not texting as much, not calling and planning dates. This can lead you to believe he’s not interested in you.

With that in mind here are three ways to keep him interested and to understand how men think.

1. The slow down.

It’s natural when a guy first meets you for him to want to spend all his time with you. He’s focused on the goal of being with you. The infatuation phase is like a bubble for just the two of you.

It’s also natural after a few weeks for him to slow down. This is not necessarily a bad thing.

Since he’s probably been neglecting his friends, work and hobbies he’s just coming back into balance. For a guy to have a relationship with you, in the long run, he will need to integrate you into the rest of his life.

The key is to not take it personally and ask him what’s wrong.

Once you understand that this is natural, give him space and he will come bouncing back to you.

2. He takes you for granted.

Once a guy has you he considers you part of his life. This may seem like bad news because he takes you for granted.

Actually, ironically this is good news because he now considers himself to be in a relationship with you.

I’m not suggesting that he can treat you badly, I’m suggesting that he treats you as a normal, everyday part of his life. This is a very good thing that means you can start building a life together.

3. Keep your boundaries.

While he may be normalizing, you want to remind him that the courtship of you is not over.

You do this by not accepting last-minute invitations and by spending time with your friends and your hobbies.

You may be tempted to want to spend all your time with him, but trust the spaces in between.

Men fall in love when they’re away from you.

When he slows down know that it’s natural and don’t try to speed him back up.

If you start to think he’s taking you for granted, reframe it. This means you’re part of his life which is a good thing, within reason.

Always keep your boundaries and let him know when things don’t feel good.

This is the key to keeping him interested because it causes him to stretch to be in a relationship with you.

Your boundaries require him to be a better man. This is the unconscious reason he fell in love with you in the first place and the reason your relationship will last for the long run.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s secrets to fall in love in A Life of Love.

By James Hanrahan

3 Secret Ways To Tell He’s Crazy About You

When you want to know if a guy likes you, it’s important to know what to look for.

The confusion starts when you start to analyze what he’s saying.
There’s an easier way, in fact there are three telltale signs he’s crazy about you.
With that in mind, here are the three things to look for.
1. He wants to give to you.
When a man is crazy about you, he can’t help but want to give you things.
Dinners, movies and gifts may seem unimportant or outdated, but when a man consistently gives them to you. He’s falling in love.
For your part saying “thank you for ____” fill in the blank, is music to his ears and will keep the dance going.
2. He wants to protect you.
While this may seem primitive, it’s still instinctual for man who cares about you to want to protect you.
The modern day version of this is that he cares about the condition of your car, that you get home okay, etc.
He cares about where you are in time and space and pays attention to how you’re doing.
3. He cares about how you feel.
When a man starts to care about how you feel in regards to what he’s doing. He’s definitely crazy about you.
This means the long-term relationship switch in his brain is turned on.
This is especially true when you have a disagreement and he takes your feelings into consideration.
Men fall in love when they give, make no mistake about it. 
If he makes an effort to protect you and cares where you are in time and space, the green light is on.
When he tells you what he thinks and asks you how you feel about it, he’s wiring himself for a relationship. In other words, he’s crazy about you.
James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s steps to fall in love in A Life of Love.

By James Hanrahan

How To Build ATTRACTION That Lasts Forever

When you meet a guy, either you have chemistry or you don’t.

No matter how good a guy is on paper, if your body doesn’t like him, you’ve got no chance.

However, attraction is something you can build. There are three keys to creating attraction you want to know, if you want a relationship that lasts.

1. Anticipation. Building attraction requires anticipation. This means if you want to have a long-term relationship you need to start thinking long-term.

The way to do this is to remember that anticipation outranks consummation.

In other words, the longer you wait before you have sex, the more attraction you’ll build.

Sex doesn’t build attraction, anticipation does.

2. Have a fight. I’m not saying go out of your way to have a fight. I’m saying you don’t really know someone until you do.

Attraction is increased when you’re able to stay with people, even on the days when you don’t like them.

Having a fight is not what builds attraction. It’s the ability to get through it, that makes your attraction stronger.

3. Make a commitment. When you’re sitting on the fence, not much happens in any aspect of your life. When you commit to another human being you awaken attraction you might not even know you had.

Attraction is built when you can count on someone to do what they say they’re going to do.

A relationship is a conversation that doesn’t end, and a series of kept agreements. This is the practical definition of lasting love.

If you want to build attraction that lasts you’ll need anticipation. Fighting is not the end of a relationship, it’s a sign you’re beginning to care.

A commitment takes your chemistry to another level. A level where you can build your attraction into a love that lasts forever.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of  information in Dating Advice for Alpha Women.

3Things Your Guy Is DYING To Hear (But Might Not Know How To Ask For)
Why Guys Lose Interest In You So Quickly
3 Agreements To Make Before You Have Sex
3 Ways How Men Bond With Women For the Long Run
3 Ways To Keep Him Interested In A Relationship With You
3 Secret Ways To Tell He’s Crazy About You
How To Build ATTRACTION That Lasts Forever