James Allen HanrahanJames Allen Hanrahan

By James Hanrahan

3 Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend To Find Out If He’s Marriage Material

Having a boyfriend is great! But sometimes you just don’t know where it’s going? You’ve been together but he hasn’t said anything about the future.

You can be wondering if there are questions you can ask your boyfriend to find out if he is marriage material?

This is a delicate subject because men typically don’t react well to these types of questions.

With this in mind, here are three questions you can ask your boyfriend to find out without him even knowing it if his marriage material.

1. You listen closely.

Before we get to the questions I have a question ask you. Have you been listening to what your boyfriend’s been saying? Does he have any plans for you to do things in the future? Have you met any of his family and friends?

The reason I ask this is that if none of these things have happened yet asking him a question to find out if he’s marriage material or not will be an act of frustration.

Any question you ask a man has to be based on what he’s already doing. If he is showing signs of future plans, this is already a sign that he is marriage material With no questions asked. But this is certainly not the end of it.
2. What do you require?
The most important question you ever have to ask is what do you require to be in a relationship with a man? The question to ask yourself before you ask him is what is it I want that I don’t have? And what is it I have that I don’t want? In this relationship.
The very reason you’re wondering what questions to ask your boyfriend to find out if his marriage material is that you never told him what it takes to be in a relationship with you.
There are three basic questions you can ask any man no matter how far along in a relationship you are or if it’s just beginning. They are foundational to any long-term relationship. And frankly, you may be surprised at the answers.
3. The 3 questions.
Hopefully, you’ve asked these questions at the beginning of your relationship, but if you’re like many of my coaching clients you haven’t.
The first question is proposed this way. “I know we’ve been together for quite a while but I made mistake and, this may seem obvious to you but, I never asked you, “do you want to be monogamous with me sexually and socially?“
Assuming his answer the first question was on point. The second question is “I really enjoy seeing each other however have you ever thought about how often you would enjoy seeing each other every week? What do you think is ideal for you?
Please remember we’re gathering information and if you don’t like the answers to the first two questions there’s no need to ask the third one.
But assuming you like where this is going. Here’s a third question and this is by far the most important question that I share with all my clients and I strongly insist that they require before they are ever starting a relationship.

But for the sake of this situation, here it is “I really enjoy being in our relationship however I made a mistake. I never asked you do you want to be in a long-term relationship and if things go well the possibility of marriage and children?”

Many of my clients balk at this particular question. It is the hardest one to ask, I know. However, if you do not ask it we will never know if a guy is wasting your time and it won’t be his fault! Because you never required a plan.

If you take nothing else away from this please before you spend any more time with a guy find out, does the guy you’re with want to build with you? Can he see a future aiming towards marriage and children? Is that what he wants? Share your vision and ask him what he thinks?
Once he starts talking listen closely. Avoid the temptation to argue with him or explain anything. To any statement he makes I want you to respond with “I understand.”

He may say things that are uncomfortable or painful for you to hear. However, if you can sit back and listen and stay firm on what you require for him to be in a relationship with you often times if you do not argue with him you will get it.

There are no guarantees but it has been my experience with my clients that it works. The reason is he doesn’t want to lose you but if there’s no risk of losing you there’s no reason for him to marry you or have a long-term plan.

What this in mind remember, 1. Listen 2. Be clear about what you require. 3. Ask him the three questions regarding monogamy, continuity, and longevity listed above.
Self-love is the ability to ask for what you want in a respectful way. Men are awakened and inspired by what you require, and the self-esteem you possess to believe you deserve it.
James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after relationship coach for strong women based in Los Angeles who offers a free Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, and tired of dating the wrong guys, connect with him via his complimentary call calendar link to make finding time easy.

By James Hanrahan

3 Ways How Men Bond With Women For the Long Run

Here are the ingredients of a man in it for the long-run.

When you meet a guy who’s attracted to you, it’s great. But, as you know from experience this is not enough.

After you’ve seen a few guys come and go it becomes important to know how men bond with women.

With that in mind, here are 3 ways a guy will bond with you if you have them in this order.

1. He starts out slow.

A guy who can be in a relationship for the long run starts out slow. I call it starting at level 5. He takes his time getting to know you because he knows it takes more than just chemistry to be in a relationship.

Guys who start at level 10 are all about chemistry. They start out strong and want to be with you all the time. The challenge is they can’t keep up the pace and quickly lose interest because they’re not building anything with you.

A guy who starts at level 5 has room to grow and bond with you. It takes time and shared experiences to bond with a guy. A guy who can be with you for the long run starts out slow. He wants to know you.

2. He builds momentum.

Men bond as they build momentum with you. It shows as he starts to see you more and make you a part of his life.

It’s not enough that he starts slow there has to be a feeling that he is building momentum with you.

If you find yourself getting into a pattern of just seeing him once a week for a date over a long period of time, then he doesn’t have momentum with you.

A guy with momentum starts making plans ahead and ask you how you feel about them. He’s not just living week to week with you.

A good question to ask yourself is “do you feel you have momentum with him?”

3. He has an eye for the finish line.

The final piece of the puzzle is men bond when they commit to you.

This happens when he asks you to stop dating other people and be exclusive with him.

When he starts talking about and making long-range plans with you.

When he’s introducing you to family and friends and you’re becoming a part of his life. And finally of course when he asks you to marry him.

You will notice that he wants to take more and more responsibility for you. This means he includes you in his decisions in life and asks you how you feel about them. In other words, he wants to build a life with you.

Men bond when they start out slow and get to know you as a human being. Time and shared experiences are the way a man opens his heart.

Momentum is key for a man. A man who’s building with you is bonding with you.

A man who can see the finish line and shares his vision with you is a man you can be with for the long run.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s secrets to fall in love in A Life of Love.

By James Hanrahan

3 Ways To Tell If He’s EVER Going To Be Ready To Commit

When you been dating a guy for a while it’s hard to tell if he’s ever going to be ready to commit.

One day he’s talking about getting you a ring and dreaming about a future, the next you’re getting the cold shoulder.

Before you spend any more time trying to figure him out. Here are three ways to tell if he’s ever going to be ready to commit.

1. A plan.

The first and most important thing is, does he have an actual concrete plan to commit.

Has he told you when he wants to get engaged or married to you? Or when he wants to get you a ring.

Without a specific time frame, you don’t have a plan, you have a dream.

Speaking of time if a man has been dating you for over a year and has no plan, it’s a major red flag he’s not going to commit.

When a guy is on the fence he tends to stay on the fence.

2. Purpose.

Every person and every relationship must have a purpose. If you and your guy or not aiming toward something, building a family, getting a house, getting married etc. the relationship will stagnate.

What makes a relationship exciting and causes you to grow are new challenges.

When you face them together your relationship gets stronger. Without them, your relationship will become boring and he’ll wonder why he’s not excited to see you.

Men have to have a purpose for themselves in life and for the relationship with you.

3. Time.

Men by nature don’t have a sense of urgency to have children. They’re perfectly fine with having children someday.

Unfortunately, this is not going to work for you. If you’re hoping by avoiding the topic and by having a good time, he will suddenly come around. This is a poor strategy.

Men are all about momentum. If after a year of dating you, he doesn’t have a plan you’re losing momentum.

I strongly suggest you require a plan, know what the purpose of your relationship is, and don’t let time slip away on you.

Men commit to what you require to be in a relationship. You have to know what that is for you. The key here is to love him, but not more than yourself.

When you’re willing to walk away when necessary from a man who doesn’t have a plan or a purpose, you’re ready to be with one who does.

Hopefully, you will inspire the guy you’re with to take the journey with you. Having a plan and a purpose are concepts a man can relate to.

Either way, you will know by his actions if he’s ever going to be ready to commit and you can decide what’s best for you. Love him, but not more than yourself.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s secrets to fall in love in Dating Advice for Alpha Women.

By James Hanrahan

How To Get A Guy To Want A Relationship That Lasts The RIGHT Way

It’s been a few dates and now the guy you’re with wants to do something you’re uncomfortable with unless you’re in a relationship.

You explain this to him and then he magically disappears.

This leads us to believe he’s an uncommitted jerk, which may be true; or it’s not what you say it’s how you say it.

When you throw out the word relationship too soon men freeze.

For one; if there’s going to be a relationship it has to be his idea.

For two; a relationship is something that happens overtime and shared experiences. It’s not something you can ask for, it’s something that you have.

Look at your girlfriends. Did you ever ask them to be in a relationship?

Getting back to it’s not what you say it’s how you say it. After a few dates the truth is you’re not ready for a relationship. You are ready to get to know him better.

If he’s ready and you’re not ready to do something; for example sex. Use this formula.

First let him know what you like about him and how much you enjoy being with him. Then say however I feel I don’t want to have sex until I know you better. What do you think?

The answer is more valuable than the question.

Here you get to find out if he cares about your feelings. If he does, good news he will get to know you better.

If not, good news you won’t be wasting your time talking about having a relationship with someone who doesn’t care about your feelings.

It’s rare that you have to ask a man if you’re in a relationship. It usually means you’re not.

Actions speak louder than words especially when it comes to men. A man who’s willing to get to know you, is a man who wants a relationship that lasts, the right way.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s secrets in A Life of Love.

3 Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend To Find Out If He’s Marriage Material
3 Ways How Men Bond With Women For the Long Run
3 Ways To Tell If He’s EVER Going To Be Ready To Commit
How To Get A Guy To Want A Relationship That Lasts The RIGHT Way