By James Hanrahan
Having a boyfriend is great! But sometimes you just don’t know where it’s going? You’ve been together but he hasn’t said anything about the future.
You can be wondering if there are questions you can ask your boyfriend to find out if he is marriage material?
This is a delicate subject because men typically don’t react well to these types of questions.
With this in mind, here are three questions you can ask your boyfriend to find out without him even knowing it if his marriage material.
1. You listen closely.
Before we get to the questions I have a question ask you. Have you been listening to what your boyfriend’s been saying? Does he have any plans for you to do things in the future? Have you met any of his family and friends?
The reason I ask this is that if none of these things have happened yet asking him a question to find out if he’s marriage material or not will be an act of frustration.
Any question you ask a man has to be based on what he’s already doing. If he is showing signs of future plans, this is already a sign that he is marriage material With no questions asked. But this is certainly not the end of it.
2. What do you require?
The most important question you ever have to ask is what do you require to be in a relationship with a man? The question to ask yourself before you ask him is what is it I want that I don’t have? And what is it I have that I don’t want? In this relationship.
The very reason you’re wondering what questions to ask your boyfriend to find out if his marriage material is that you never told him what it takes to be in a relationship with you.
There are three basic questions you can ask any man no matter how far along in a relationship you are or if it’s just beginning. They are foundational to any long-term relationship. And frankly, you may be surprised at the answers.
3. The 3 questions.
Hopefully, you’ve asked these questions at the beginning of your relationship, but if you’re like many of my coaching clients you haven’t.
The first question is proposed this way. “I know we’ve been together for quite a while but I made mistake and, this may seem obvious to you but, I never asked you, “do you want to be monogamous with me sexually and socially?“
Assuming his answer the first question was on point. The second question is “I really enjoy seeing each other however have you ever thought about how often you would enjoy seeing each other every week? What do you think is ideal for you?
Please remember we’re gathering information and if you don’t like the answers to the first two questions there’s no need to ask the third one.
But assuming you like where this is going. Here’s a third question and this is by far the most important question that I share with all my clients and I strongly insist that they require before they are ever starting a relationship.
But for the sake of this situation, here it is “I really enjoy being in our relationship however I made a mistake. I never asked you do you want to be in a long-term relationship and if things go well the possibility of marriage and children?”
Many of my clients balk at this particular question. It is the hardest one to ask, I know. However, if you do not ask it we will never know if a guy is wasting your time and it won’t be his fault! Because you never required a plan.
If you take nothing else away from this please before you spend any more time with a guy find out, does the guy you’re with want to build with you? Can he see a future aiming towards marriage and children? Is that what he wants? Share your vision and ask him what he thinks?
Once he starts talking listen closely. Avoid the temptation to argue with him or explain anything. To any statement he makes I want you to respond with “I understand.”
He may say things that are uncomfortable or painful for you to hear. However, if you can sit back and listen and stay firm on what you require for him to be in a relationship with you often times if you do not argue with him you will get it.
There are no guarantees but it has been my experience with my clients that it works. The reason is he doesn’t want to lose you but if there’s no risk of losing you there’s no reason for him to marry you or have a long-term plan.
What this in mind remember, 1. Listen 2. Be clear about what you require. 3. Ask him the three questions regarding monogamy, continuity, and longevity listed above.
Self-love is the ability to ask for what you want in a respectful way. Men are awakened and inspired by what you require, and the self-esteem you possess to believe you deserve it.
