James Allen HanrahanJames Allen Hanrahan

By James Hanrahan

3 Signs You’re In The Wrong Relationship

It is so hard to tell when you’ve met the right person. It starts with chemistry, but this is no guarantee that it will be the right relationship for you.

One way to get a handle on what you want is to know what you don’t want. There are a few red flags that can be indicators you’re in the wrong relationship, and knowing them can save you a lot of heartaches.

With that in mind, here are 3 signs you’re in the wrong with a relationship that will help you decide what’s right for you.

1. It’s work

The old adage is, relationships take work. While there is an obvious truth to this, it shouldn’t be like you’re pushing a rock uphill, only to watch it roll back down again.

Work that accomplishes nothing and where you see no improvement or change is a sign you in the wrong relationship.

There needs to be a willingness and openness to change in a partner, along with the ability to take personal responsibility, otherwise, it can be extremely frustrating and you will get nowhere.

 2. Fatigue 

If you find yourself exhausted from unproductive fighting, this is also a sign you may be in the wrong relationship. Productive fighting is not the end of a relationship, in fact, it’s often the beginning, however, unproductive and unresolved fighting is a red flag.

Emotional stress takes its toll and one of the signs you have it, is your nerves become raw and you feel extremely fatigued.

If you find yourself, often at your wit’s end, it may be time to examine what your body is trying to tell you because the body doesn’t lie.

3. Confusion

When you continually find yourself not understanding what’s going on in a relationship, the mixed signals can give you a sense that confusion is setting in.

Confusion is often a sign and tactic of toxic people in your life. People with the ability to love are straightforward and can make and keep agreements. If you constantly find yourself wondering what’s going on, maybe it’s because there’s something wrong.

Clarity comes from the ability to ask for what you want and says no to what you don’t want. If you are often in confusion, it may be time to approach your partner and see if you can make agreements. People who know how to love can make and keep agreements, people who don’t know how to love, often make agreements they just don’t keep them.

Work is something we do with the intention to improve. If you are just spinning your wheels, this is not a good sign.

Fatigue is telling you something because when you’re emotions are being drained the body will demonstrate it.

Confusion can cause you to second-guess yourself and often keep you in the wrong relationship. Check-in with yourself and trust your intuition.

Being in the wrong relationship can take its toll on you, but being aware of the signs can give you clarity and put you back on the road to what you want.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after relationship coach for strong women based in Los Angeles who offers a free Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, and tired of dating the wrong guys,connect with him via his calendar link to make finding time easy.

By James Hanrahan

The 3 Secrets Why Men Don’t Commit [According to A Guy]

If you’ve been with a guy for a while and you see no signs of commitment. There are three BIG reasons why a man doesn’t commit.

Fortunately for you, they’re all things you can do something about.

Because while he may have many excuses why he can’t commit right now, the solution boils down to these three secrets.

1. There’s no risk of losing you.

When you live with a guy, or spend all your time at his place, you’re basically a free wife.

The first reason he won’t commit to you is, there’s no risk of losing you.

The main reason a man takes on the responsibility of marrying you is, he doesn’t want to lose you.

It’s as simple as, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. [I’ll share with you how to change this in a minute.]

Which brings us to the second reason why he won’t commit.

2. He’s too comfortable.

When he’s already getting all the sex and companionship he wants from you, without taking on any responsibility. The next problem you have is, he’s too comfortable.

He may blame his job, or his financial situation, or any other number of excuses. However if a man really wants something he will move heaven and earth to get it.

However, if he’s already getting you for free, the real problem is he’s too comfortable.

3 Take things off the table.

The good news is, you have a solution. It’s time to take things off the table.

There’s only one way for a guy to find out he can’t live without you. There has to be the risk of losing you.

If you’re ready to take things off the table the first thing and the biggest thing to take off the table is sex.

To do this say, “I’ve really enjoyed our year plus of being together however I don’t feel comfortable continuing to have sex without an engagement ring and/or an agreement for a wedding date within the next six months to a year.” Pause. Followed by “what do you think?”

I know it’s a mouthful. However if there’s no risk of losing you and he’s too comfortable; if you don’t take things off the table, chances are nothing is going to change. [ to get coaching click here.]

You’re going to meet resistance, he may even pull away or decide to break up with you. Whatever it is, be patient, hold your ground, don’t argue with him and let him figure it out.

In the end this is not about him. It’s about your own self-worth and self-value. The reason why men don’t commit is because they don’t feel they have to. The reason they do commit is because you require it, and you’re worth it.

If he’s up for the challenge he’s your man, if not, he’s someone else’s boy.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s secrets to fall in love in Dating Advice for Alpha Women.

By James Hanrahan

How To Tell When A Guy Is Wasting Your TIME With Stories

You meet a guy you like and it seems he likes you too. There’s just once small problem. He’s got a lot of stories.

I’m not talking about interesting stories. I’m talking about ex-wives stories, money problems stories, don’t know what I’m doing with my life stories.

They’re endless, with one problem after the other. Well, here’s the moral to these stories.

If a man has a story, an ex-wife story, a money story etc. he’s not ready for a relationship.

He’ll bend your ear, waste your time, even sleep with you if you let him but he is not in condition for a relationship. He’s closed for repairs.

You may try to overlook these stories because you like him and you see potential. The problem is once a man gets on the wrong side of a story, it’s going to be a long time before he can be in a relationship with you. Trying to open him up on the premise of potential is typically a bad idea that will backfire.

We all come with baggage. It’s just some of us have checked our baggage and some of us are still carrying it. The ironic thing is if you stick around and listen, a man who isn’t ready for a relationship will eventually resent you and blame you.

There’s an easy solution to this problem and a clear way out of it. As much as you may be tempted to do some repair work, stick with men who are present and ready to move forward. If they’re speaking about the present and the future you’re on the right track.

Your heart’s in the right place but if you stick around to listen you’re only hurting yourself. Men don’t heal by crying on your shoulder. He’s going to have to find his own feet, and that could be a while. The moral to his story is, if you want a relationship, no more listening to stories from men.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for SMART women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of information in Dating Advice for Alpha Women.

3 Signs You’re In The Wrong Relationship
The 3 Secrets Why Men Don’t Commit [According to A Guy]
How To Tell When A Guy Is Wasting Your TIME With Stories