James Allen HanrahanJames Allen Hanrahan

By James Hanrahan

3 Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend To Find Out If He’s Marriage Material

Having a boyfriend is great! But sometimes you just don’t know where it’s going? You’ve been together but he hasn’t said anything about the future.

You can be wondering if there are questions you can ask your boyfriend to find out if he is marriage material?

This is a delicate subject because men typically don’t react well to these types of questions.

With this in mind, here are three questions you can ask your boyfriend to find out without him even knowing it if his marriage material.

1. You listen closely.

Before we get to the questions I have a question ask you. Have you been listening to what your boyfriend’s been saying? Does he have any plans for you to do things in the future? Have you met any of his family and friends?

The reason I ask this is that if none of these things have happened yet asking him a question to find out if he’s marriage material or not will be an act of frustration.

Any question you ask a man has to be based on what he’s already doing. If he is showing signs of future plans, this is already a sign that he is marriage material With no questions asked. But this is certainly not the end of it.
2. What do you require?
The most important question you ever have to ask is what do you require to be in a relationship with a man? The question to ask yourself before you ask him is what is it I want that I don’t have? And what is it I have that I don’t want? In this relationship.
The very reason you’re wondering what questions to ask your boyfriend to find out if his marriage material is that you never told him what it takes to be in a relationship with you.
There are three basic questions you can ask any man no matter how far along in a relationship you are or if it’s just beginning. They are foundational to any long-term relationship. And frankly, you may be surprised at the answers.
3. The 3 questions.
Hopefully, you’ve asked these questions at the beginning of your relationship, but if you’re like many of my coaching clients you haven’t.
The first question is proposed this way. “I know we’ve been together for quite a while but I made mistake and, this may seem obvious to you but, I never asked you, “do you want to be monogamous with me sexually and socially?“
Assuming his answer the first question was on point. The second question is “I really enjoy seeing each other however have you ever thought about how often you would enjoy seeing each other every week? What do you think is ideal for you?
Please remember we’re gathering information and if you don’t like the answers to the first two questions there’s no need to ask the third one.
But assuming you like where this is going. Here’s a third question and this is by far the most important question that I share with all my clients and I strongly insist that they require before they are ever starting a relationship.

But for the sake of this situation, here it is “I really enjoy being in our relationship however I made a mistake. I never asked you do you want to be in a long-term relationship and if things go well the possibility of marriage and children?”

Many of my clients balk at this particular question. It is the hardest one to ask, I know. However, if you do not ask it we will never know if a guy is wasting your time and it won’t be his fault! Because you never required a plan.

If you take nothing else away from this please before you spend any more time with a guy find out, does the guy you’re with want to build with you? Can he see a future aiming towards marriage and children? Is that what he wants? Share your vision and ask him what he thinks?
Once he starts talking listen closely. Avoid the temptation to argue with him or explain anything. To any statement he makes I want you to respond with “I understand.”

He may say things that are uncomfortable or painful for you to hear. However, if you can sit back and listen and stay firm on what you require for him to be in a relationship with you often times if you do not argue with him you will get it.

There are no guarantees but it has been my experience with my clients that it works. The reason is he doesn’t want to lose you but if there’s no risk of losing you there’s no reason for him to marry you or have a long-term plan.

What this in mind remember, 1. Listen 2. Be clear about what you require. 3. Ask him the three questions regarding monogamy, continuity, and longevity listed above.
Self-love is the ability to ask for what you want in a respectful way. Men are awakened and inspired by what you require, and the self-esteem you possess to believe you deserve it.
James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after relationship coach for strong women based in Los Angeles who offers a free Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, and tired of dating the wrong guys, connect with him via his complimentary call calendar link to make finding time easy.

By James Hanrahan

3 Ways To Keep Him Interested In A Relationship With You

When you meet a guy you like it can seems like a miracle.

When he starts out treating you like a queen, it’s exciting.

The hard part is when he starts slowing down, not texting as much, not calling and planning dates. This can lead you to believe he’s not interested in you.

With that in mind here are three ways to keep him interested and to understand how men think.

1. The slow down.

It’s natural when a guy first meets you for him to want to spend all his time with you. He’s focused on the goal of being with you. The infatuation phase is like a bubble for just the two of you.

It’s also natural after a few weeks for him to slow down. This is not necessarily a bad thing.

Since he’s probably been neglecting his friends, work and hobbies he’s just coming back into balance. For a guy to have a relationship with you, in the long run, he will need to integrate you into the rest of his life.

The key is to not take it personally and ask him what’s wrong.

Once you understand that this is natural, give him space and he will come bouncing back to you.

2. He takes you for granted.

Once a guy has you he considers you part of his life. This may seem like bad news because he takes you for granted.

Actually, ironically this is good news because he now considers himself to be in a relationship with you.

I’m not suggesting that he can treat you badly, I’m suggesting that he treats you as a normal, everyday part of his life. This is a very good thing that means you can start building a life together.

3. Keep your boundaries.

While he may be normalizing, you want to remind him that the courtship of you is not over.

You do this by not accepting last-minute invitations and by spending time with your friends and your hobbies.

You may be tempted to want to spend all your time with him, but trust the spaces in between.

Men fall in love when they’re away from you.

When he slows down know that it’s natural and don’t try to speed him back up.

If you start to think he’s taking you for granted, reframe it. This means you’re part of his life which is a good thing, within reason.

Always keep your boundaries and let him know when things don’t feel good.

This is the key to keeping him interested because it causes him to stretch to be in a relationship with you.

Your boundaries require him to be a better man. This is the unconscious reason he fell in love with you in the first place and the reason your relationship will last for the long run.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s secrets to fall in love in A Life of Love.

By James Hanrahan

How To Get A Guy To Want A Relationship That Lasts The RIGHT Way

It’s been a few dates and now the guy you’re with wants to do something you’re uncomfortable with unless you’re in a relationship.

You explain this to him and then he magically disappears.

This leads us to believe he’s an uncommitted jerk, which may be true; or it’s not what you say it’s how you say it.

When you throw out the word relationship too soon men freeze.

For one; if there’s going to be a relationship it has to be his idea.

For two; a relationship is something that happens overtime and shared experiences. It’s not something you can ask for, it’s something that you have.

Look at your girlfriends. Did you ever ask them to be in a relationship?

Getting back to it’s not what you say it’s how you say it. After a few dates the truth is you’re not ready for a relationship. You are ready to get to know him better.

If he’s ready and you’re not ready to do something; for example sex. Use this formula.

First let him know what you like about him and how much you enjoy being with him. Then say however I feel I don’t want to have sex until I know you better. What do you think?

The answer is more valuable than the question.

Here you get to find out if he cares about your feelings. If he does, good news he will get to know you better.

If not, good news you won’t be wasting your time talking about having a relationship with someone who doesn’t care about your feelings.

It’s rare that you have to ask a man if you’re in a relationship. It usually means you’re not.

Actions speak louder than words especially when it comes to men. A man who’s willing to get to know you, is a man who wants a relationship that lasts, the right way.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s secrets in A Life of Love.

3 Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend To Find Out If He’s Marriage Material
3 Ways To Keep Him Interested In A Relationship With You
How To Get A Guy To Want A Relationship That Lasts The RIGHT Way