James Allen HanrahanJames Allen Hanrahan

By James Hanrahan

3 Ways To Tell If He’s EVER Going To Be Ready To Commit

When you been dating a guy for a while it’s hard to tell if he’s ever going to be ready to commit.

One day he’s talking about getting you a ring and dreaming about a future, the next you’re getting the cold shoulder.

Before you spend any more time trying to figure him out. Here are three ways to tell if he’s ever going to be ready to commit.

1. A plan.

The first and most important thing is, does he have an actual concrete plan to commit.

Has he told you when he wants to get engaged or married to you? Or when he wants to get you a ring.

Without a specific time frame, you don’t have a plan, you have a dream.

Speaking of time if a man has been dating you for over a year and has no plan, it’s a major red flag he’s not going to commit.

When a guy is on the fence he tends to stay on the fence.

2. Purpose.

Every person and every relationship must have a purpose. If you and your guy or not aiming toward something, building a family, getting a house, getting married etc. the relationship will stagnate.

What makes a relationship exciting and causes you to grow are new challenges.

When you face them together your relationship gets stronger. Without them, your relationship will become boring and he’ll wonder why he’s not excited to see you.

Men have to have a purpose for themselves in life and for the relationship with you.

3. Time.

Men by nature don’t have a sense of urgency to have children. They’re perfectly fine with having children someday.

Unfortunately, this is not going to work for you. If you’re hoping by avoiding the topic and by having a good time, he will suddenly come around. This is a poor strategy.

Men are all about momentum. If after a year of dating you, he doesn’t have a plan you’re losing momentum.

I strongly suggest you require a plan, know what the purpose of your relationship is, and don’t let time slip away on you.

Men commit to what you require to be in a relationship. You have to know what that is for you. The key here is to love him, but not more than yourself.

When you’re willing to walk away when necessary from a man who doesn’t have a plan or a purpose, you’re ready to be with one who does.

Hopefully, you will inspire the guy you’re with to take the journey with you. Having a plan and a purpose are concepts a man can relate to.

Either way, you will know by his actions if he’s ever going to be ready to commit and you can decide what’s best for you. Love him, but not more than yourself.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s secrets to fall in love in Dating Advice for Alpha Women.

By James Hanrahan

The 3 Secrets Why Men Don’t Commit [According to A Guy]

If you’ve been with a guy for a while and you see no signs of commitment. There are three BIG reasons why a man doesn’t commit.

Fortunately for you, they’re all things you can do something about.

Because while he may have many excuses why he can’t commit right now, the solution boils down to these three secrets.

1. There’s no risk of losing you.

When you live with a guy, or spend all your time at his place, you’re basically a free wife.

The first reason he won’t commit to you is, there’s no risk of losing you.

The main reason a man takes on the responsibility of marrying you is, he doesn’t want to lose you.

It’s as simple as, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. [I’ll share with you how to change this in a minute.]

Which brings us to the second reason why he won’t commit.

2. He’s too comfortable.

When he’s already getting all the sex and companionship he wants from you, without taking on any responsibility. The next problem you have is, he’s too comfortable.

He may blame his job, or his financial situation, or any other number of excuses. However if a man really wants something he will move heaven and earth to get it.

However, if he’s already getting you for free, the real problem is he’s too comfortable.

3 Take things off the table.

The good news is, you have a solution. It’s time to take things off the table.

There’s only one way for a guy to find out he can’t live without you. There has to be the risk of losing you.

If you’re ready to take things off the table the first thing and the biggest thing to take off the table is sex.

To do this say, “I’ve really enjoyed our year plus of being together however I don’t feel comfortable continuing to have sex without an engagement ring and/or an agreement for a wedding date within the next six months to a year.” Pause. Followed by “what do you think?”

I know it’s a mouthful. However if there’s no risk of losing you and he’s too comfortable; if you don’t take things off the table, chances are nothing is going to change. [ to get coaching click here.]

You’re going to meet resistance, he may even pull away or decide to break up with you. Whatever it is, be patient, hold your ground, don’t argue with him and let him figure it out.

In the end this is not about him. It’s about your own self-worth and self-value. The reason why men don’t commit is because they don’t feel they have to. The reason they do commit is because you require it, and you’re worth it.

If he’s up for the challenge he’s your man, if not, he’s someone else’s boy.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s secrets to fall in love in Dating Advice for Alpha Women.

By James Hanrahan

3 UNEXPECTED Risks You Take When Thinking About Marriage

Marriage isn’t for everyone however if you’re thinking that it might be for you, it’s good to understand the risks involved. Marriage is a business, if you don’t think it’s a business try getting a divorce.

Everything worth doing has some risk involved. Here are three risks you might not have thought of if you’re thinking about getting married.

1. You’re going to grow. Everyone talks about wanting to grow but here’s the thing. We can’t grow alone we have to be reflected.

There’s nothing like entertaining the idea of getting married with someone. It will bring out the best and the worst in you.

The best in you will cause you to stretch and take on the cares and feelings of another person. The worst in you will resent the same cares and feelings and find it to be an invasion of your self-interest.

Growth is painful, but you don’t get there by standing on the sidelines. The mere act of entertaining the idea of marrying someone is an instant catalyst for change.

2. You’ll find yourself. You’d think that marriage was about finally finding the right person. While some of this is obviously true, the real thing is you find yourself.

The good news is you find yourself, and the bad news is you find yourself. You find out all the areas where your magnanimous and kind. Then you find out all the areas where you’re selfish and self-centered.

You get to do this with an ever ready mirror; your partner. We’re never quite who we think we are until we get to know someone. If you want to find yourself look into someone else’s eyes.

3. You’ll serve others. When you first meet someone it’s exciting to think you’re finally going to be loved.

However much you might not of thought of it, you’re about to serve others. This of course is especially true if you’re contemplating having children.

The good news is serving others is the key to success and happiness. Once you develop this mindset life takes on purpose and meaning. They say that service is its own reward and you’re about to find out what that means.

With all this upside you may be tempted to overlook the risks. Always remember marriage is a business. Don’t sign any legal documents until you’ve known someone for at least a year. While there are no guarantees, choose someone whose character you believe in.

With that in mind be prepared to grow, to find yourself, and to serve others. It’s well worth the risk and without risk, there is no reward.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for SMART women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of information in Dating Advice for Alpha Women.

3 Ways To Tell If He’s EVER Going To Be Ready To Commit
The 3 Secrets Why Men Don’t Commit [According to A Guy]
3 UNEXPECTED Risks You Take When Thinking About Marriage