James Allen HanrahanJames Allen Hanrahan
18
Dec, 2020

By James Hanrahan

The Real Reason Why Men Aren’t Falling In Love Anymore

When is the last time you received a love letter from a guy? The problem is many men are not falling in love anymore.

Will, they hit you up? Absolutely. Will they stay with you? Well, that’s becoming a problem.

With that in mind, here is the real reason why men aren’t falling in love and what to do about it. This knowledge will be a game-changer for your love life.

 1. Sex

Contrary to what some may believe, men do not usually fall in love when they have sex. It does not by itself create intimacy, rather it exposes whether you have it or not.

Sex revolves around initial chemistry which can go as fast as a comes. The illusion of closeness that sex can give you can mask the fact that on a deeper level you really don’t know each other.

Friendship is often best built before sex enters a relationship. In order for a man to fall in love with you, it’s helpful for him to get to know you as a human being first.

2. Time

Time gives you the opportunity to evaluate and gain insight into the man you’re dating. The journey of falling in love takes time.

Relationships are an investment of time and energy. When a man invests the time to get to know you as a human being he begins to demonstrate his character.

Men are often way ahead of themselves. They will ask you to go on trips, to have sex, and to become their girlfriend way before they’re ready.

Slowing a man down is one of the best ways to give him the opportunity to fall in love with you. Encourage his enthusiasm, but slow down his speed.

3. Friendship 

We are often lead to believe that friendship and love are two entirely different things. But are they? Can a man truly love you if he has not befriended you?

Friendship demonstrates the character of the man you’re with. Does he make and keep his agreements? Does he demonstrate integrity in all aspects of his life? Does he treat you with concern, and care about your feelings?

When we underestimate the importance of falling in love with someone who demonstrates friendship we’re often shocked when they leave abruptly.

It’s usually not a lack of chemistry that ends a poorly conceived relationship, it’s a lack of friendship. Character is the lasting quality to look for, it’s demonstrated in a friendship and in a lover.

Sex in itself will not give you intimacy. In fact, people often avoid intimacy by having sex.

Time is what gives a man a runway to fall in love with you. When you understand this, it will change the trajectory of your love life.

Friendship is one of the biggest clues you’re falling in love with the right person. If you’re continually doubting the character and trustworthiness of a man you’re with, you’re usually with the wrong man.

Men fall in love when you require them to take the time to get to know you and building a friendship with you. Friendship is foundational to your well-being and it’s the real reason that without it, men are not falling in love anymore.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after relationship coach for strong women based in Los Angeles who offers a free Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, and tired of dating the wrong guys, connect with him via his calendar link to make finding time easy.

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11
Jul, 2017

By James Hanrahan

3 Ways To Keep Him Interested In A Relationship With You

When you meet a guy you like it can seems like a miracle.

When he starts out treating you like a queen, it’s exciting.

The hard part is when he starts slowing down, not texting as much, not calling and planning dates. This can lead you to believe he’s not interested in you.

With that in mind here are three ways to keep him interested and to understand how men think.

1. The slow down.

It’s natural when a guy first meets you for him to want to spend all his time with you. He’s focused on the goal of being with you. The infatuation phase is like a bubble for just the two of you.

It’s also natural after a few weeks for him to slow down. This is not necessarily a bad thing.

Since he’s probably been neglecting his friends, work and hobbies he’s just coming back into balance. For a guy to have a relationship with you, in the long run, he will need to integrate you into the rest of his life.

The key is to not take it personally and ask him what’s wrong.

Once you understand that this is natural, give him space and he will come bouncing back to you.

2. He takes you for granted.

Once a guy has you he considers you part of his life. This may seem like bad news because he takes you for granted.

Actually, ironically this is good news because he now considers himself to be in a relationship with you.

I’m not suggesting that he can treat you badly, I’m suggesting that he treats you as a normal, everyday part of his life. This is a very good thing that means you can start building a life together.

3. Keep your boundaries.

While he may be normalizing, you want to remind him that the courtship of you is not over.

You do this by not accepting last-minute invitations and by spending time with your friends and your hobbies.

You may be tempted to want to spend all your time with him, but trust the spaces in between.

Men fall in love when they’re away from you.

When he slows down know that it’s natural and don’t try to speed him back up.

If you start to think he’s taking you for granted, reframe it. This means you’re part of his life which is a good thing, within reason.

Always keep your boundaries and let him know when things don’t feel good.

This is the key to keeping him interested because it causes him to stretch to be in a relationship with you.

Your boundaries require him to be a better man. This is the unconscious reason he fell in love with you in the first place and the reason your relationship will last for the long run.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s secrets to fall in love in A Life of Love.

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15
Jun, 2017

By James Hanrahan

The 3 Secrets Why Men Don’t Commit [According to A Guy]

If you’ve been with a guy for a while and you see no signs of commitment. There are three BIG reasons why a man doesn’t commit.

Fortunately for you, they’re all things you can do something about.

Because while he may have many excuses why he can’t commit right now, the solution boils down to these three secrets.

1. There’s no risk of losing you.

When you live with a guy, or spend all your time at his place, you’re basically a free wife.

The first reason he won’t commit to you is, there’s no risk of losing you.

The main reason a man takes on the responsibility of marrying you is, he doesn’t want to lose you.

It’s as simple as, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. [I’ll share with you how to change this in a minute.]

Which brings us to the second reason why he won’t commit.

2. He’s too comfortable.

When he’s already getting all the sex and companionship he wants from you, without taking on any responsibility. The next problem you have is, he’s too comfortable.

He may blame his job, or his financial situation, or any other number of excuses. However if a man really wants something he will move heaven and earth to get it.

However, if he’s already getting you for free, the real problem is he’s too comfortable.

3 Take things off the table.

The good news is, you have a solution. It’s time to take things off the table.

There’s only one way for a guy to find out he can’t live without you. There has to be the risk of losing you.

If you’re ready to take things off the table the first thing and the biggest thing to take off the table is sex.

To do this say, “I’ve really enjoyed our year plus of being together however I don’t feel comfortable continuing to have sex without an engagement ring and/or an agreement for a wedding date within the next six months to a year.” Pause. Followed by “what do you think?”

I know it’s a mouthful. However if there’s no risk of losing you and he’s too comfortable; if you don’t take things off the table, chances are nothing is going to change. [ to get coaching click here.]

You’re going to meet resistance, he may even pull away or decide to break up with you. Whatever it is, be patient, hold your ground, don’t argue with him and let him figure it out.

In the end this is not about him. It’s about your own self-worth and self-value. The reason why men don’t commit is because they don’t feel they have to. The reason they do commit is because you require it, and you’re worth it.

If he’s up for the challenge he’s your man, if not, he’s someone else’s boy.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men’s secrets to fall in love in Dating Advice for Alpha Women.

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12
Feb, 2017

By James Hanrahan

3 SECRETS To Keep Him Wanting A Relationship Forever

When a guy starts to chase you it’s an exhilarating feeling. He’s calling and making plans. You’re on your way to having a relationship.

The hard part is to keep him on the chase. If he drops off too soon, you’re back to square one. With that in mind, here are three secrets to keep him moving forward toward a relationship that lasts.

1. Don’t chase him. When a guy starts chasing you, you might think it’s okay to chase him back.

You start making plans and inviting him to do things. Don’t do that.

Men want to chase, they just don’t want to be caught. If you turn the tables and chase him, he will lose interest.

2. Don’t get too comfortable. Courtship is about one person chasing the other. The amount a man invests in winning you over will set the tone for the entire relationship.

If you get too comfortable and forget the importance of courtship. You might think it’s not necessary however, I assure you it is. Men fall in love when they give.

3. It has to be his idea. A man on the chase will stay on the chase as long as he’s running after you. He has to think; he has to work hard to win you over, and he could lose you if he isn’t attentive.

This requires a bit of patience on your part. Wait until he calls you. Wait until he plans a next date. This is important because you want to find out how he handles reality.

If you want a relationship that lasts it has to be his idea.

If you don’t chase him he will chase you. If you resist the urge to get comfortable, he will do the work of courting you. With a little bit of patience, sit back and let being in a relationship be his idea.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of information in A Life of Love.

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The Real Reason Why Men Aren’t Falling In Love Anymore
3 Ways To Keep Him Interested In A Relationship With You
The 3 Secrets Why Men Don’t Commit [According to A Guy]
3 SECRETS To Keep Him Wanting A Relationship Forever