3 Ways Men See Relationship Questions Differently
When you meet a guy, you can tell almost instantly that he’s thinking differently than you. As a dating and relationship coach for women and men, you can only imagine how different the relationship questions are.
Understanding men is an art which few women take the time to do; understanding women… Well for men, that’s almost impossible .but it’s well worth the effort
With that in mind, here are the three top “relationship questions” men and women ask me daily, that are keeping them mystified by each other unnecessarily.
1. Will it last?
A perennial favorite for women and a sheer terror for men. The difference is, women are painfully aware of the possibility of wasting their time.
Men on the other hand, often woefully overestimate their ability to make a relationship last, focusing on the moment, and many times defaulting to a “we’ll see how it goes” mentality.
Every relationship needs a plan and a purpose. With a goal in mind, it becomes possible to enjoy the moment together.
2. What’s next?
In fairness to men, and perhaps not to women, not a day goes by that a female client doesn’t say to me subconsciously, “that was great and I’m glad he did it, but what’s next?”
I am consistently encouraging my female clients to “savor the moment” along the way.” This is in direct contrast to my male clients who often, all they do is savor the moment.
Men are often more methodical and take a step-by-step approach going from A-to-B. Meaning if A works out I’ll go to B.
Women often go from A-to-Z Skipping crucial steps that men need to demonstrate along the way. If a man hasn’t demonstrated he can keep simple agreements; like calling when he says he’s going to. How will he be able to keep more complex agreements?
3. Is it serious?
This question is perhaps the one with the sharpest contrast of all. For men the first question is; is it fun to be with her? And for a man, this is a serious question.
Without this first component, it is impossible for them to consider being serious about the relationship.
This may seem like a frivolous question, but is it? If you don’t enjoy being with someone what is the point?
This may seem like a frivolous question, but is it? If you don’t enjoy being with someone what is the point?
Men and women balance each other out in a relationship, in a way only they can, to help each other grow.
For women, “will it last?” Is a fair relationship question to ask yourself first, to make sure the man you’re considering is qualified for your relationship goal.
“What’s next?” May take you out of the moment, and rob you of the opportunity to get close to your man in the present.
Ironically, men are often more serious than they appear. Their step-by-step approach often gives you time to evaluate, consider, and reflect on what will be the biggest decision of your life.
Although men may often see relationship questions differently, it doesn’t mean that they don’t hear you and take them to heart.
James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after relationship coach for strong women and men based in Los Angeles. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success and tired of dating the wrong guys, connect with him via his calendar link here to make finding time to speak with him easy.
