James Allen HanrahanJames Allen Hanrahan

by James Hanrahan

It’s the hardest question to ask, yet if you don’t know the answer to it, it’s the most unnerving. You may be waiting for the right time however when is the right time?

There are three moments where it’s imperative that you ask. Let’s look at these three moments and when is, the best time to ask where’s this relationship going?

1. Before it gets going. This is by far the best time to ask because you don’t have to ask. You can require and negotiate a long-term plan before you get into the relationship.

In fact the reason you don’t know where the relationship is going is because you didn’t talk about it and agree to where the relationship is going before you got started.

2. Its been a year. Men are all about momentum. If its been a year and you haven’t heard anything, you’re losing momentum.

Men don’t suddenly wake up one morning and decide they want to get married. They have to be concerned about losing you.

If it’s been a year, say; “I’ve really enjoyed our year together of dating however I feel uncomfortable, I don’t want to date without a long-term plan what do you think?

Then listen intently because you’re about to get your answer.

I’m not saying you’re not going to meet resistance. You have to be comfortable with that, because if you really want to have a relationship you have to be willing to risk losing it.

3. You don’t feel good about it. This can happen at any time but it usually happens when it’s been too long.

The body doesn’t lie, if your instincts are telling you something is off. You need to talk about it.

Remember you can negotiate or renegotiate anytime even if you’ve never talked about it. However you may have to take your cards off the table.

A man isn’t going to negotiate with you if he’s already getting everything he wants for free. I.e. sex.

Say; “I really like you and I have enjoyed our time together however I’ve made a mistake. I had intercourse with you without knowing what our long-term plan is and I don’t feel comfortable with that. What do you think?”

A man who cares about how you feel will take your feelings into consideration. He will come up with a plan to alleviate you’re uncomfortable feelings that you both can agree on.

A relationship is a series of kept agreements. Relationships are built on the bad days, not the good days. Uncomfortable conversations only happen with people who love you.

The best time to have a conversation about where the relationship is going is before the relationship gets going.

The next is, if it’s been a year and you’re losing momentum.

The last is when you don’t feel good about it and your body wants clarity because the uncertainty is turning you off.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for SMART women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re an Alpha woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of information in Dating Advice for Alpha Women.

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The BEST Time To Ask Where’s This Relationship Going